We're Willie's Wenches, a freaky four-some of three ladies and one guy, working for the Bard of Avon himself. Willie S. has hired us to revive the fine Elizabethan traditions of slapstick and bawdy (or is that bawdily?) humor. We go "undercover" in hilarious retellings of Willie's works to fulfill our mission of no-holds-bard (wink wink nudge nudge) entertainment!

Check back often to see if our jetsetting schedule might bring us to a venue near you, or contact us if you want to hire this team of comely comedy commandos. Willie's Wenches... keeping the world safe for Shakespeare, one laugh at a time!

 
 
    Emma Grace Mahaffey  
     
Emma Grace Mahaffey was born as the youngest of eight, the only girl, the apple of her da's eye, and lone princess of her clan, which means that she grew up having to outwit, outsmart, and overrun 7 big brothers and an entire village in order to have any fun. And that's not bringing all the sheep in to it. Not surprisingly, when Willie's Wenches recruited her, she went oh-so-willingly, after having tied all seven brothers to the Maypole in order to be able to leave. Emma Grace loves swordfighting, her clan colors of blue and gold, and anything that sparkles.
     
    Clarissa Seabright  
     
Clarissa Seabright's origins are a mystery to most and an enigma to others. Her parents may have minor British nobility living near Dover, or komodo dragons, probably the latter, since like the fabled tropical beasts, she is long-bodied and chock full of malodorous spores. Often described by naturalists as "a delightful blend of sensuality and rococco," Clarissa has bright plumage, an unnaturally loud call, and irregular nesting habits. Her turn ons include: owl pellets, useless trivia, Albigensians, and long walks on the beach during the Vernal equinox.
     
    Lolita  
     
Lolita's mother was a witch, and her father was a ninja. (Or perhaps not, they might have been leech-farmers in Somerset) Her inherited potential became evident when she directed an international crime syndicate from the womb. In her formative years, she held a variety of occupations, including a temp job as the molten core of the earth. (Presumably because she is, in the words of Sir Francis Drake: "sooo hot.") At the age of 18, she caused every man on the planet to fall in love with her by performing the "Thumb War of the Seven Veils." (Or perhaps history is wrong on this point; it may have been the Pinky Wiggle of the Five Veils, instead) Queen Elizabeth took offense and banned Lolita from England for at least 400 years, after which all of the male undergraduates of Oxford drowned themselves in despair. Lolita used her sorcerous powers to step through a wormhole into a strange and frightening future time, where, with her finely-honed skills she quickly won the lead role in "Carrie III the Musical: Aunt Flo's Revenge." After this spectacular performance the Time Police, fresh from their pursuit of William Shatner, apprehended her, and unceremoniously dumped her back in the Renaissance, where they figured she might do less damage. (Idiots)
     
    Malcus T Bostwick  
     
Malcus has spent the majority of his life cavorting throughout the known world impersonating everything from barristers to barkeeps. As soon as he mastered mimicking one trade he moved on (often one step ahead of some very irritated constables). Willie discovered Malcus while comedic chameleon was plying his skills as a Moroccan rug merchant in Madrid. The venerable bard offered Malcus a job sharing the stage with a terrific trio of feisty females. In addition to playing MC to the group’s shows, Malcus is often mistaken for Willie himself (which makes Willie happy enough when tax collectors or Marlowe’s assassins come prowling about).
Bostwick continues to delight in character impersonations (his favorite role being that of a former Lord Mayor of the City of Canterbury he once met as a youth) and when not on stage he can often be seen roaming the streets of town chatting with folk of all ilk or walking the lanes with his beloved wife Sybille.
     
 
 
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